The Definition of High Maintenance

I recently saw a slogan that said "I am not high maintenance - I just need more shoes". What is this with men calling us high-maintenance, anyway? It is hard work being a stylish woman!

In order to look perfect for every occasion, we need the right tools: the bubble-bath, the lotions and potions, the fluffy towels, the outfit, the make-up, the hairstyle and the perfect mani-pedi combo. Just imagine stepping out without all of those items?

As a woman, it's not about rolling out of bed, pulling on yesterday's jeans and moccasins and grinning at yourself in the mirror on your way to work. We have way too much class to do that. That is why I am saying - they call it high-maintenance, we call it classy.

What is wrong with a woman having 200 pairs of shoes, you ask? Only one thing - it is only two hundred and not 300 hundred. There are 365 days in most years, but being a woman requires a lot more than that. Firstly, there are the slippers you wear to get out of bed. They have to be soft and fluffy. Honestly, who wants to walk on cold floors so early in the morning?

We need a good pair of trainers for our morning run. More than one pair is necessary to match our different workout gear. After a shower, we need dress slippers. We don't want the fluffy ones to get wet in the bathroom. Enter the bathroom after a man has been in there and you will know what I mean...

Then it is time to get ready for work. Different types days in the workplace require different shoes. You can not wear the same shoes to a lunch meeting with the boss that you wear on every other day. Besides, that new receptionist is so stylish in her Manolo's that it is very stressful to keep up. Just to make sure she knows her plays, a woman (high maintenance or otherwise) needs at least one pair each of Christian Louboutin, Giuseppe Zanotti, Marc Jacobs, Stella McCartney, Barbara Bui, Rupert Sanderson, Azzedine Alaïa, Celine and Givenchy.

At the end of the day we need sexy stilettos for those cocktail parties and a few pairs of fetish shoes for later. Finally, when we are home alone and get to take a break from being "high maintenance" - we need a fair amount of comfortable slip-ons, ugh boots and satin slippers.